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Yerself Is Fire

by Fire Man

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1.
I have the seen the worst of monsters, not the kind in dreams I can taste that blood still there, it lingers inside me I won’t forget that, what I saw, I have to pass out the message, yeah The message The message I won’t forget that, what I saw, I have to pass out the message, yeah The message The message The message Just around the corner Yeah Around the corner You’re growing old And out your body Your pain will fold Around the corner
2.
I shaved my face today Mom says she’s proud i'm getting older Wake up, get high, eat shit, pick up your meds, take meds, and then start over This is the best I’ve been This is the best I’ll ever be This is the best I’ll ever be, but still there’s one thing I need I don’t wanna make any other big mistakes, I don’t wanna make any other friends I hate, I need to get the hell out of this never-ending party I don ’t wanna take any other meds today I don’t wanna make love, or fuck, or go on any dates There is nothing inside, I feel like dying I am watching, I’m watching, I am watching over you Running to the doctors with a fatal disease And it’s eating your soul as your god looks in shame And he’s counting all the ways that he can pass off the blame, As you stare at the mirror at the party of your life And you’re breaking down in tears so you give your arm a bite And the flesh that you break, and the blood that you taste You let the pain into your arm so it will come out of your brain I punched a wall today Mom says it’s part of getting older Go out, get high, take meds, get high, take meds, get high, and then start over This is the best I’ve been This is the best I’ll ever be This is the best I’ll ever be, but still there’s one thing I need I don’t wanna make any other big mistakes, I don’t wanna make any other friends I hate, I need to get the hell out of this never-ending party yeah I don ’t wanna take any other meds today I don’t wanna make love, or fuck, or go on any dates There is nothing inside, I feel like dying I'm running around I'm trying everything I can I'm doing my best I'm doing my best to find some peace yeah so I turn on the TV and what do I see? do you know what I see? And what do I see? It's you fucking assholes, you ruin everything no god damn it, I told you I don’t wanna make any other big mistakes, I don’t wanna make any other friends I hate, I need to get the hell out of this never-ending party I don ’t wanna take any other meds today I don’t wanna make love, or fuck, or go on any dates There is nothing inside, I feel like dying
3.
Machine 05:52
Take your out favorite pen, draw lines across your skin Write out the pros and cons and tell me what’s within Pull on the lever just to cross everything out You say it’s logic, you’ll be better underground All of these studies show that nature, it is real It’s full of ugly things, and you, that’s what ya feel We are all cavemen, we will scoop out both your eyes Some days it’s all your fault, but this time it is mine This is your personal godly-given right Enter machine Removing every hour of your life Enter machine Feeling the heat of the screen emit its light (yeah) Enter machine Counting their dollars will need your constant sight Enter, enter I’m watching over you like you are all I have Desperately need your help to forget my own past I don’t need power, just another way to cope When the machine is on it gives us all a dose This is your personal godly-given right Enter machine Removing every hour of your life Enter machine Feeling the heat of the screen emit its light (yeah) Enter machine Counting their dollars will need your constant sight Enter, enter I’m watching over you, I’m watching every day I’ll push the buttons just to hide the pain away If in a couple years there is nothing left to say Using this method you've unlocked a better brain I can run, I can win, just to feel, like I saved the day I can make all of you follow me break a bone just to make a daily pay I can run, I can win, just to feel, like I saved the day I can climb up your ladder, and exploit you, another way I am watching over you like you are all i have Nothing is better than a click upon a thread, yeah In this machine they will erase all innocence Taking the time to unlearn all your other friends This is your personal godly-given right, yeah Enter machine Removing every hour of your life, yeah Enter machine Feeling the heat of the screen emit its light, yeah Enter machine Counting their dollars will need your constant sight, yeah Enter, enter Your God is my machine Your God is my machine Machine I am watching over you like you’re all i have Nothing is better than linking another thread In this machine they will clean up my innocence Taking the time to unlearn all my other friends In this machine I’ll find you
4.
A simple misunderstanding put a spike in my head As you sat there in silence You pulled me closer and told me that you wish you were dead And i asked to be more than just friends As she privately displayed Secrets to her hidden pain Happy muscles in her brain Never fully worked Death drive driving Julie right down the street In my house, in my pants, in my mind Look around, feel like shit, can ’t believe that this is it Angry i can’t have it all Julie I think I need you Julie I think I need you Julie I think I need you Yeah, I think I need you Julie, I think I need you And I broke your heart in two Making love in the back of your car I held my tears back when I found out who you really are Death drive driving Julie right down the street In my house, in my pants, in my mind Look around, feel like shit, can ’t believe that this is it Angry i can’t have it all Death drive driving Julie right down the street In my house, in my pants, in my mind Look around, feel like shit, can ’t believe that this is it Angry i can’t have it all Death drive driving Julie right down the street In my house, in my pants, in my mind Look around, feel like shit, can ’t believe that this is it Angry i can’t have it all I didn’t want to cut her off But she cut her self in front of me It was just two days where we crossed paths But the pain lives on, it's inside me, yeah Julie told me secrets, i don’t want to believe her Julie told me secrets now I’m looking forward to the day Julie told me secrets, i don’t want to believe her Julie told me secrets now I’m looking forward to the day Julie told me secrets, i don’t want to believe her Julie told me secrets now I’m looking forward to the day Julie told me secrets, i don’t want to believe her Julie told me secrets now I’m looking forward to the day I die die Julie I wrote Julie’s secrets in a book Letting others take a secret look In a mission for the final truth I broke Julie’s gentle heart in two Death drive driving Julie round
5.
You’re learn these secrets way too young to shake it off The men much older look for ways to cover up, to cover I don’t want to know the truth, there’s only one way out This life ain’t fair, there’s no one out here but yourself The kids around you lucking out, escaping hell, escaping I don’t want to know the truth, there’s only one way out A sinking dead boy in a pool of all his doubts, of all his I don’t want to know the truth, there’s only one way out, no You’re only seventeen my friend (no time for turning tides) But gun cures brain, the song repeats inside your mind And I need every friend I’ve made (no time for turning tides) These thoughts stay with you, just find ways to pass the time Gun Gun cures brain I’m watching over you like Jesus and the sun I will believe in you like Blondie and his gun But gun cures brain I’m sure that’s better said than done These thoughts are with you and there’s nowhere you can run You’re only seventeen my friend (no time for turning tides) But gun cures brain, the song repeats inside your mind And I need every friend I’ve made (no time for turning tides) These thoughts stay with you, just find ways to pass the time
6.
Twenty-Five 05:14
All the children, come running out the gate Reminding us, we’ve got work we’ve gotta do It makes you wonder if the path we oughta take Is holding back, just close the door on me and you Whoa, whoah, whoah, whoah Trying different drugs is just a part of life We’ll get you fixed, there’s nothing left to do but try I want to hold you, love you, say it’s all OK, Don’t really know, but mom and dad look they’re doing fine But I am sitting here I feel about the same So what’s the point? Still feel like shit at 25 Keep crawling towards the end of time There’s nothing left to do, there’s nothing left to try Don’t hold your breathe, just do your best to stay alive I am watching over every move you make, stay here with me, Cuz I need every friend i’ve made I want to hold you, love you, say it’s all OK, I’m here for you There’s nothing else you need to say I can’t promise every pain will go away Assume it won’t But i’ll be right here every day Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa Do you see it? Do you see? All the children come running out the gate They’re still the same 25 And all the children, they’re running out the gate They’re still depressed at 25 All the children, come running out the gate We’re still the same at 25 Running, Come running, All the children We’re still the same at twenty five
7.
OCD 07:44
Oh no its here again Oh no its here again Oh no its here again Oh no its here again All my friends And all my friends friends And all my family And my family’s friends They’re all watching And they’re thinking, what’s he thinking? What’s he doing? What’s he counting? What’s he trying to do? Because someone needs to tell him, Don’t you know already? All you gotta do is open up And it’s all going to be alright Well I’m feeling weak, because it’s all in my head And it doesn’t fucking matter when you wish you were dead OCD, OCD, OCD is here again OCD, OCD, OCD is here again OCD, OCD, OCD is here again OCD, OCD, OCD is here again I go down to the next doctors You spin in circles and I’m feeling real weak yeah We’re trying real hard to get whatever, whatever’s going on whatever’s going on No, I go down to the next doctors, She says I’m sick and I’m looking real weak She gives me different pills and we’re hoping it will work But it doesn’t really matter cuz neither of us know But I go down to the next doctors Neither of us know and i see it in her eyes she doesn’t know either And I’m tired And she says well look at this huh You’ve got your mother You’ve got your father You’ve got your sister You miss your ex You need your friends You need some air You need some I don’t know, I don’t need any of this Death is just right around the corner

about

a personal work of music recorded throughout 2021-2022 with Kiyoshi in NYC

credits

released January 13, 2023

Caio - vocals, guitar, bass, songwriting
Kiyoshi - drums, additional guitars, recording, mixing
Ed Brooks - mastering
Alex Giesel - additional songwriting on tracks 1, 7

ozbren - album artwork

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Fire Man New York, New York

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